Post-PAC Syndrome

We are home from the next step in the adoption process: The Pre-Adoptive Classes (aka PAC). It was an overwhelming 2 days that challenged us to think about the hard side of adoption: attachment and bonding issues, helping your child overcome hardships he or she may have experienced before living with you, raising a child of a different culture, and helping your child deal with racism - just to name a few! It was eye-opening to say the least, but we still feel that we made the right decision and are even more prepared for what lies ahead. Needless to say, there are still some books to read and strategies to learn on these topics, but that can happen during "the wait!"

For now, we are experiencing what we like to call "Post-PAC Syndrome:" excitement from being a step further on our journey, exhaustion from a long couple days and traveling, anxiety over what we don't know and what might happen after our child is home, and pressure to complete the next step of the process: the Self-Study, 19 questions about our childhood, personality, religious views, cultural experiences, views on adoption, family structure and dynamics, finances, and a description of our house and neighborhood. These all require short answers, or not so short; my first question yielded 1.5 pages worth of information... and I was trying to be concise! Each of us have to answer these questions on our own and send them in before we can meet with a social worker. The home study cannot be complete until we have two meetings with the social worker, and the official wait for a referral cannot start until we have our home study complete. Therefore, the self-study is the next critical piece for us to work on, and I should get back to writing out my answers. Oh goodie, the next questions is about what I would like to change about my spouse... hmm... maybe this will be more fun than I thought! :)

While I wish we could have been working on the self-study while we were waiting to go to PAC, I have to have faith that the process is in place for a reason, the order set to make each step most meaningful. So, I am resigned to have patience and trust in the system. This does mean that we had to change our expectations and be more realistic about when we will have our child in our home. Instead of having a child with us this Christmas, our hope is to have a referral by this Christmas. If things go faster and we have a son or daughter to share the holidays with, we will be ecstatic, but if not, we will be more than ready come 2010!