This post is a few weeks overdue as Family Day was technically last month. March 22, 2010 was the day we brought Nicholas back to the guest house in Seoul and March 24, 2010 was the day we flew home to Iowa. Wow – it’s been a year already! As a wise man once said, “Time flies when you’re having fun!”
We had grand plans to start some traditions this year but realized that Nicholas is still too young to really understand most of his story and the importance of this day. We did go out to eat as a family (next year, maybe he can chose the restaurant) and we showed him some of the movies and photos from our first days together. The first videos we took with him are of us playing on the bed in the guest house. Every so often, usually when one of us spoke, Nicholas would start crying again. It brought back a lot of memories of watching our son grieve over the loss of everything he knew and loved up to that point in his life. We remembering being surprised when Nicholas seemed to accept us by the next morning already. He was ready to bond with his new family, and we were thankful for that, knowing that the worst was over. However, we realized that Nicholas will always carry this loss with him when we saw him watch the movies this year. He became sad watching the little boy sniffle and cry on the screen and looked to us with questioning eyes. Then he crawled into my lap for some hugs and comfort. Did he associate the little boy on the movie with himself? I don’t know. Did he understand why he was upset in the movie? Probably not. But it was a good reminder for us that Family Day is full of all sorts of emotions.
We turned off the videos then and moved on to some photos of his birth land and all the people that made our family possible. My goal for next year is to have his adoption lifebook complete so we can look at pictures and tell him his story in a way he will understand, acknowledging all the emotions of the day. Don’t get me wrong, we are certainly a happy family and from our perspective Nicholas is a wonderfully well adjusted little boy, but we want to remember that there is a part of his life before us that helps define him and could impact the way he perceives the world around him now and in the future.
All that said, we are so very thankful for what happened last March. Nicholas has added more joy and laughter to our lives than we ever could have imagined. Parenting is a challenging journey, but we look back on year one with many fond memories. Our son has given us the gift of being a family, has taught us the value of enjoying the simple things in life, and has reminded us of the wonders of everyday living (most recently, the fact that sand, dirt, and grass are treasure troves of discovery!).
Family Day 2010 – Social Welfare Society guest house (20.5#, 27.5”)
Family Day 2011 – Our living room (28.6#, 33.25”)
Nicholas is wearing a sweatshirt that his Foster Mom sent home with him last year and we are sitting by one of Nicholas’ current favorite places to play – his table and chairs (we color and play with playdough there… what could be better?!?)
On that note, we think this is a good time to close out this blog. The Journey to Parenthood Part 1 is complete and we even have a whole year of parenting under our belt, so it is fitting that we take this time to say goodbye and thank you. You have all been so supportive along the way and we are grateful for each of you in our lives!
It is also a good time to bring this story to a close as we are already well into Part 2. It is time for us to catch you up with what has been happening on our second journey to parenthood! Things are definitely different this time around (we are a lot busier and don’t have time to journal about each step of the paperwork process!), but for more on that, you will have to switch over to our new blog at http://kevinandabbie2.blogspot.com. Enjoy!
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