The Wait Continues

I know you are all sitting on the edge of your seat, hoping for some news, so I’ll say right off the bat that we are still waiting for our referral. As of Tuesday, 9/7, we will have been waiting for 4 months in what is typically a 6-9 month wait. After we match there is another 5-7 month wait before we can travel, so we are looking at about 10 more months before we become parents. Hopefully they will be a fast 10 months!

While we wait, we have been busy with another step in the process: USCIS pre-approval to bring a child into this country. We received our letter of Favorable Determination on August 1st after having our electronic fingerprints taken on July 20th. This means that the Embassy in Seoul, South Korea, now has our file so when we get a match the paperwork on the United States end will be ready to go (not finished, by any means, just ready to be processed). Korea also has to process a visa and passport for the child, so we cannot travel until both countries complete their paperwork and we can legally bring our child home.

Given that the USCIS part of the adoption process had to go through the federal government, we were prepared for longer waits, and quite pleased to discover that this was the most efficient and pain-free part of the adoption process thus far! Of course, I (Abbie) almost delayed this process when we were trying to enter the Federal Building in Des Moines for our fingerprints. Security wanted to search my purse because there was a suspicious object inside. Given that I had my large summer purse with me, I was a bit embarrassed by how many random things I had inside. Was it the pens? The barrette? The keys? Hmm… I don’t know what it could be. Oh, how about those child safety scissors I “borrowed” from the preschool Sunday School room a few weeks ago and forgot to put back? Yep, they were the culprit. The security people let me go as long as I promised to return them to church! For those of you wondering, I did return the scissors the very next week. I think the barrette, pens, and other clutter remain in the purse though!

The culprit!

The Korea Program at CHSFS has made the wait somewhat easier with their new policy of updating progress. In my last post, I commented that we were no longer going to find out what number we were. Shortly after that post, the Korea Program began a hotline that they update every week with the number of referrals received, the number of matches made, and the number of travel calls received within the last week. They also state how long families who have matched or received a travel call had been waiting. Honestly, this data gives us much more information than a simple number in a “line.” In case you are curious, they have received 8 boy referrals and 2 girl referrals in the past month. We figure this means we are down to about 20 on the boys list, so we are getting closer! The Korea Program staff also send out newsletters once a month, so we feel well informed with everything we might need to know about.

Since our last post, we have had 2 Adoptive Families Group gatherings with our friends from church and work. They were very fun and we look forward to see how the group grows and evolves over the years. The first gathering was just to get acquainted while the second one coincided with two of the children’s finalizations. So of course we had to celebrate! It took me awhile to figure out how one celebrates the finalization of an adoption (this usually occurs 6 months after the child is in the home and is more of a formality, but still an important step in the long process). There are no plates, napkins, games, songs, or food that is traditional for a “Happy Finalization” party, nor is there much out there on the internet (shocking, I know!) so I had to get creative. I ended up reading a story from Chicken Soup for the Adopted Soul, and commenting briefly on the importance of this act, even though we all know that these children were loved and in a forever family they day they came home. Then we had a fruit pizza to symbolize the diversity of our families – the parts may all look different, but together they taste delicious! Finally the two families were presented with their gifts: a frame with the word family on the bottom. It had room for 4 pictures, but in 2 of the openings, I put the following quotes:

“You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.”

– Desmond Tutu

“Our love is deeper, our hearts are stronger, each minute is more miraculous,

our joy more profound…” – Cheryl Dieter

We continue to wait until the day when we become a forever family and our hearts overflow with love and joy for our child, our gift from God.